I’ve been trying to find inspiration for the last couple weeks to paint. By that I mean paint for enjoyment. I just haven’t had the desire to do it, much less anything else. Between Management’s health and stressing out over everything to do with the Intern (autism, early intervention programs, money to pay for programs, am I doing this all right, challenges like potty training and hair cutting, etc), I can’t bring myself to do anything for myself except shower and sleep.
So there I was with some time to myself. My son was napping. And Management was curled up on the couch, farting the most horrible farts far beyond any expectations of a seasoned boxer owner. I sit down beside her laughing and petting her exposed belly, telling her I still love her despite having to crack open a window. I just sat there with her enjoying the moment. Noticing my favorite painting of all time.
It’s by Winslow Homer. And I have a nice little replica canvas version above my fireplace. I first saw it in elementary school. It was in a textbook that I don’t remember the subject or any other details. Just that I knew instantly that I loved the painting.
I loved the sharks. I loved the look of the man on the damaged boat and I loved the ominous weather in the horizon. When I got to high school and took an official art class, I tried to paint it in watercolor from memory. Didn’t come out anywhere close. But it inspired me to find the painting again.
After some time, as this was pre internet days mind you, I figured out the artist and looked up his other work. It didn’t wow me. Not like the first time I found a book of Kandinsky. Don’t get me wrong, there are some other Winslow Homer paintings I enjoy. But he isn’t my favorite painter by a long shot.
Flash forward to 2015. I’m in New York City at Comic Con for the first time displaying my work. The city is just brimming with art, galleries, graffiti etc. I’m on an art high so to speak. I find time to squeeze in a trip to the MET. I’m going through it rather quickly I’ll admit. Not a lot of time and I’m trying to just see everything. When all of sudden, I turn a corner and there it is: The Gulf Stream, in all it’s glory. It’s huge in person. I mean the scope just blows you away if all you’ve ever known was what you saw in a book.
I can still recall that feeling. Just being awe struck, standing in front of it, all alone because everyone is blowing past me to get to a Van Gogh or Monet or Degas….
And when I think of that moment and just try to really embrace that feeling, I can feel myself wanting to paint. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever create something like that. You hope to touch people with your work. To maybe inspire someone to become an artist themselves. But…. even if it’s just one artist, will I ever create something that inspires someone to keep creating art.
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