Kona

Kona came into our lives sometime in July of 2021. We had lost our dear Mookie in April quite suddenly. The house was very empty (save for the Intern). And my husband and I thought we would try vacation fostering. Just to see how we felt about possibly adding a dog to our family again. I remember getting the message about Kona. Her foster family was going to Hawaii for ten days. She was potty trained, super mellow, and all she wanted to do was be around the family. They sent a picture and I thought, oh good, I’m not going to fall in love with this dog. I know that sounds horrible. But she was a senior (which we swore up and down we didn’t want to adopt a senior). She didn’t have a traditional boxer look to her (had a longer snout like maybe she was a mix). She didn’t look like Buckner or Mookie. And her face had what was described as a ‘stroke look’ to it. So I was thinking perfect. I don’t want to fall in love with a dog I’m just supposed to watch for ten days. I just want to see how it would be to have a dog, that was mobile, back in the house and around our now very mobile toddler (Mookie was paralyzed the last almost hear of her life).

We pick her up and take her home. And to say all she wanted to do was be around her people was an understatement. She DID NOT want to be outside. Not even to potty. If you wanted her to potty, you had to go out with her, and stand right beside her. She acted as if we would run inside without her and close the slider and just leave her. She followed me room to room. And she had to be touching me pretty much 99.9 percent of the time. But boy, did she love the Intern. I’m not sure if it was because he was constantly sharing his food with her. Or she just felt that genuine love he had for her (he was always trying to hug her/pet her and we had to keep a close eye).

At some point in the ten days I noticed she was knuckling. I asked her foster parents and they said she had trouble on hard wood floors and just thought it was because she was a senior. By the end of the vacation foster stint, I was in love. I missed her after dropping her off. And I casually started asking her foster family a million questions about if she had any interest or meet n greets coming up.

We found out that she had one potential adopter looking at her. The adopter was very adamant though about a potty trained dog. The rescue never guaranteed potty training for their dogs. So beside that sticking point, she was due to meet these potential adopters on the weekend. I told my husband I wanted Kona. I missed her and I really felt like she belonged with us. He said, “she’s got what Buck had you know,” (aka Degenerative Myelopathy)

Meaning he noticed the drunken walk and knuckling she had been doing on her stay at our house. I said yeah, but we can handle that. He thought about it. He knew like I did if this family that wanted a potty trained dog adopted her and she ended up with DM that they were going to return her to the rescue or worse, just put her down at the diagnosis. So my husband says, if they don’t adopt her, then we will. I filled out the app and let the foster family know. On a side note, we almost didn’t pass the app process. Whole other story, but can you imagine that?

Anyways, the other family didn’t go ahead with an adoption. We immediately started harassing the foster family about picking Kona up lol And the rest is history. A mammory cancer surgery and a diagnosis of DM and MMM later, we had the absolute best two years with Kona. On her last morning, I made her fried eggs. Got her a batch of McDonald’s chicken nuggets and let her have a bowl of vanilla ice cream with nilla wafers. She passed away peacefully in my arms at home being told how much I loved her and sharing all the messages that had been sent in by friends, family and her long time followers.

I wrote her a letter today….

“Dear Kona,

I keep thinking that I hear you in the next room. I find myself looking at the time and thinking i better take Kona out. Or after getting on my workout clothes this morning, I went to the front room to move you to the gym only to realize you weren’t there. And the gym couch where you would watch me was so empty. I hate coming home from dropping your brother at school and not seeing you. I hate how quiet it is. I hate that when Ax doesn’t finish his eggs in the morning I can’t just hand the plate to you. I hate that this evening when I get my ‘mommy hour’ to myself I wont have you to snuggle with in bed and watch stupid netflix shows with.

I don’t feel like I did good enough by you. There were times when it was so hard carrying you outside, like after I injured my ankle playing softball. Or times I yelled at you to be quiet because you were barking at the school kids and your brother had finally fallen asleep for a nap. I should have done better. I should have taken you more places. I should have included you in more family stuff instead of worrying about having my hands full with your brother.

I hope you think I was a good mom. I hope you were as happy to be a part of our family as we were to have you in it. I loved letting you lick my spoon when I ate ice cream. I loved how you only very rarely gave kisses because each little one I got was so special. I loved how you were so clearly mine. You loved your daddy and you loved your brother but I knew I was your favorite. I love how you would put your head on the pillow in bed like a human and lay beside me looking at me, snoring, farting. And I loved your little stroke face. I miss you my pretty girl.

Love always,

mommy.